Cruising for flakes
My cornflake realm has been beautiful of late, wonderful weather - an absolute delight. So I've been out and about in my royal mobile, cruising for hot chicks and any boxes of cereals that take my fancy.
In fact I took Crunchy Durden out with me yesterday.
I've been increasingly worried about his influence over Tim and Ian (who are still doing fantastically well by the way) and this Project Cornflake he keeps going on about. I still don't know what it is, but there seem to be lots of meetings behind closed doors between various cereal boxes here at Cornflake Towers.
Anyway, me and Crunchy Durden had a fab time.
Bloody marvellous. To be fair to Crunchy Durden, once you get past his weird obsession with soap and making cereals fight each other all the time.
He's an edgy character but I trusted him to take over the Flake Mobile. He went off on his own, but what do you know, Crunchy Durden deliberately broke the rules. Shock horror (that was sarcasm).
When the cops saw this, they had to pull him over. Even though I have royal jurisdiction, I allowed them to charge him with drink driving. This box of cereals MUST be taught a lesson, for Tim and Ian's sake if nothing else.
I hope everyone has a fantastic day and that a bowl of cornflakes brings you all the luck you truly deserve.
May the flakes be with you and keep on breakfasting!!
Cornflake King
posted by Cornflake King @ 9:31 AM
33 comments
33 Comments:
Crunchy Durden is a nutter.
Yes he is. Crazy. Or Nuts, as is more appropriate.
CK
Good god! Does he ever stop??? I saw Crunchy Durden the other day puking in a gutter! Apparently he'd been out on the raz with the lads and ended up with a couple of two-bit hoes. It turns out that they drugged him with Canderel and took his packaging. He rekons that it was a great night!
Give me a DVD and a bottle of wine any day. I don't know how he does it???!!
I've heard he snorts Shreddies as well.
Mentalist.
Keep on breakfasting!!
CK
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kellogg's Cornflakes, the bland breakfast flakes that go almost instantly limp in milk were originally invented to bore you into such a deep coma that you would fall face down in the milk drenched flakes, drown, and thereby be spared the temptation and sin known as masturbation.
http://www.rotten.com/library/sex/masturbation/kelloggs-cornflakes/
Bit harsh but never mind.
All the breakfasting best to you!!
CK
you continue to entertain and amuse me. thank you. :)
It's a pleasure!!
Keep on breakfasting!!
CK
I see your blog updates are slipping in frequency.
Are you running out of material, or is the joke beginning to wear a bit thin?
What joke? I'm just happy to update my blog as and when I can. Which I'm afraid isn't every day. I sense a bit of attitude on you. My advice is for you to chill out a bit, maybe even get a blog yourself!!
Keep on breakfasting
CK
did the police charge the driver with Driving While Inflakesiated?
Have you somehow got your hands on the police report Pawlie??? Yes they did - I'll have to have a chat with the officers to find out how this leak took place.
Keep on breakfasting and thanks for popping by!!
CK
The irregularity of these blog entries is akin to the bowel movements of he who breakfasts only on cornflakes. I recommend weetabix for encouraging regularity. Maybe it would also teach you to blog more consistently.
Dr Hilary Jones, GMTV
Hi Hilary,
I'll have you know my bowel movements are more than regular - despite my breakfast of choice. Thanks for popping by, it's great to have some famous faces on here.
Keep on breakfasting,
CK
.
We work like a horse.
We eat like a pig.
We like to play chicken.
You can get someone's goat.
We can be as slippery as a snake.
We get dog tired.
We can be as quiet as a mouse.
We can be as quick as a cat.
Some of us are as strong as an ox.
People try to buffalo others.
Some are as ugly as a toad.
We can be as gentle as a lamb.
Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.
Some of us drink like a fish.
We can be as proud as a peacock.
A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.
You can get a frog in your throat.
We can be a lone wolf.
But I'm having a whale of a time!
You have a riveting web log
and undoubtedly must have
atypical & quiescent potential
for your intended readership.
May I suggest that you do
everything in your power to
honor your encyclopedic/omniscient
Designer/Architect as well
as your revering audience.
As soon as we acknowledge
this Supreme Designer/Architect,
Who has erected the beauteous
fabric of the universe, our minds
must necessarily be ravished with
wonder at this infinate goodness,
wisdom and power.
Please remember to never
restrict anyone's opportunities
for ascertaining uninterrupted
existence for their quintessence.
There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity
under heaven. A time to be
born and a time to die. A
time to plant and a time to
harvest. A time to kill and
a time to heal. A time to
tear down and a time to
rebuild. A time to cry and
a time to laugh. A time to
grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones
and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a
time to turn away. A time to
search and a time to lose.
A time to keep and a time to
throw away. A time to tear
and a time to mend. A time
to be quiet and a time to
speak up. A time to love
and a time to hate. A time
for war and a time for peace.
Best wishes for continued ascendancy,
Dr. Whoami
P.S. One thing of which I am sure is
that the common culture of my youth
is gone for good. It was hollowed out
by the rise of ethnic "identity politics,"
then splintered beyond hope of repair
by the emergence of the web-based
technologies that so maximized and
facilitated cultural choice as to make
the broad-based offerings of the old
mass media look bland and unchallenging
by comparison."
Erm, what you on about?
CK
To CK
I never did a comment because I'm not that funny and I cant type quick enough, but I liked them because they were good. (except mr jizz.)
Anyway, being autistic, I took it badly when you stopped blogging every day, so I did my computer in. I gots a new one but its not as good and its all futuristic and that. Problem is, every time I look at your blog and there is no new post I want to do my new computer in. So now I think I hate you.
All the best
Little eddie bunce, Clifton
For the attention of Little Eddie Bunce:
Oi, what are you on about? calm down sun beam, or I'll f***king raze you - with my nob.
With a drunk-driving record, I seriously doubt that the ludicrously crazy and nutty flakes will ever be allowed into the U.S. What a shame. I prefer BOOBERRY cereal anyway.
We need more Posts from you. Posts! Get it, as in the cereal? Well, whatever brand, the world yearns for a grain of serial cereal bloggin'
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You've been tagged, silly as it all is.
booooo!
Where has that cheeky leaprachaun been of late, i am sure crunchy durden would be after his lucky charms if he were to taunt him
May I hope, madam, for your interest with your fair daughter Elizabeth, when I solicit for the honour of a private audience with her in the course of this morning?
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