Tim and Ian are GAY
This is the horrifying scene which met me when I walked into my bedroom yesterday.
I had been out shopping for some semi-skimmed milk to pour over my flakes and when I went up to my bedroom I found TIM and IAN in bed together. They claimed it was nothing more than two very good friends having a nice sleep because it had got too hot for them that afternoon.
In the end they had to admit that they are having a relationship and that they are... in love!
It seems the two boxes of cornflakes had been getting rather close over recent weeks, sitting alone in their cupboard together.
I respect them for their choices in life and wish them all the very best - just as long as they stay out of my bed when they want to "express" themselves.
Anyhow, I had a lovely bowl of cornflakes for breakfast although the milk was a little tepid.
Tea tonight is a caesar salad with cornflake croutons. Mmm mmm.
Keep on breakfasting!!
CK
posted by Cornflake King @ 8:55 AM
36 comments
36 Comments:
Cornflake king. . . .
The chicks are hatched and on the move. . . . .
Wonderful news James!!
Congratulations to everyone!!
CK
I knew it. Tim and Ian have been shooting each other lustful glances for days now. It was only a matter of time. I just which they weren't so bloody public about it. It's hard enough being an out-of-favour cereal in Cornflake Towers without having those two practising filth right in front of me. It's enough to turn the milk sour.
Andy, a disgruntled Oat Granola box.
You mean to say you don't use full cream milk? I don't think it's Tim and Ian who are gay mate.
I shall call the relevant authorities round to your house you utter bas*ard.
I knew something must have been going on when they both went down with athletes foot last week. Tim said nothing was going on but when they are both experiencing that flaking problem what other answer could there be. I do however wish them all the best and there future together and only wish I can one day be as happy as them. That sounds corny doesn't it?
Stay cool this summer! All the best from Finley!
Hi anonymous!
I do use full cream milk from time to time, but my preference is semi skimmed. Your views are noted, however.
All the very best!!
CK
Finley,
If only you'd told me sooner about your concerns!! Nevermind. Like you, I hope the two of them are very happy together. I'm sure they will be.
Keep on breakfasting!!
CK
By the way... Andy the Oat Granola box...
Please stay in the cupboard, you will never live up to the power of the flake.
CK
Please put me out of misery. This isn't living. When I was young I dreamt of living in a jar on a well-lit and plush breakfast bar - not festering unloved and uneaten, gradually going soggy at the back of a dark cupboard. If you didn't want me, why buy me? You could have left me on the shelf until a friendly family came to take me home. But you didn't. You chose to buy me simply to abuse me. And that's a crime.
Andy
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Andy,
Oat Granola is not that nice. Face it. I bought you because I thought it would be a tasty alternative. You'll still be eaten during emergency breakfasts.
CK
Subtlety and tact are obviously unknown concepts to you, so-called King. Your reign is tainted with favouritism and bias. May it be ended soon in the interests of cereal diversity and equal representation for all.
Andy
Andy,
There is, and there always will be, only one true breakfast cereal. And that is the cornflake. Even non-Kellogg made cornflakes are of a superior taste and texture to the Oat Granola. You should not make this a personal grudge against me. It is not my fault you are an Oat Granola box.
CORNFLAKES FOREVER!!
CK
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
Oo Mr Jizz!!
I couldn't possibly comment on that!!
Thanks for the post though!!!
CK
Don't try to denigrate me for who I am. I am who I am and some people love me for that. It's a shame that you can't see that.
Andy
Get a grip Andy mate.
CK
I bet Ian and Tim are getting a grip.
Right round the flakes.
I can imagine Ian rubbing tims box with a spoon and nibbling his flakes, then unloading a huge gush of warm milk all over his flaps.
I bet Ian and Tim are getting a grip.
Right round the flakes.
I can imagine Ian rubbing tims box with a spoon and nibbling his flakes, then unloading a huge gush of warm milk all over his flaps.
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mr Jizz.
I'm considering banning you from this blog.
CK
By the way I deleted your first comment by mistake. I apologise for that.
CK
Why? I'm only talking about all things cornflaky.
Do you think Ian has got a massive flake? I think he has looking at him. Tim is probably much more slender, but no less flakier.
I bet they both love getting covered in warm sticky milk don't they? what with them being cornflakes and all?
What's wrong with that?
I bet your cleaning bill has gone up though - do you get funny looks at the laundrette?
All those stains on the sheets. Slightly cripsy.
mmmmmmmmmmmmm
Ian and Tim are cornflake boxes and they always will be, no matter what sexuality they are. Just because they are gay, it does not mean they are any less cornflakes boxes. I think the argument ends there.
CK
I don't know why I'm bothering telling you this, since you're so beastly to me, but I saw Ian and Tim doing coke and poppers the other day. Just so you know - that's your food chain I'm talking about.
Andy
My thoughts exactly.
So I can't see why you were considering banning me.
I reckon Ian and Tim are at it right now. Getting crumbs rubbed absolutely everywhere. Tims hot milk pouring into Ians mouth and over his dry flaps - getting them all wet and sticky.
Ian is probably using a spoon to scoop heaps of hot soggy flakes into Ians box whilst tickling his crinkly bag at the same time.
ooooooh.
My thoughts exactly.
So I can't see why you were considering banning me.
I reckon Ian and Tim are at it right now. Getting crumbs rubbed absolutely everywhere. Tims hot milk pouring into Ians mouth and over his dry flaps - getting them all wet and sticky.
Ian is probably using a spoon to scoop heaps of hot soggy flakes into Ians box whilst tickling his crinkly bag at the same time.
ooooooh.
Mr Jizz!!
Mr Jizz!!
It must be the heat - I just caught my Rice crispies trying it on with a box of muesli.
No protection and they were both drunk.
Luck I had the Polaroid with me. got some 'crackling' material
I used to love the toys you got in Cornflakes. If you go here:
http://robinhoodtree.blogspot.com/
you'll see what I mean.
Thanks Ian! Great site.
CK
Any plans to mark the 100th Anniversiary of Kelloggs on this blog?
Betty and Idris,
Carmarthen
xx
Hi Betty and Idris,
My life is one big celebration of the cornflake as it is. But yes, I will be marking this momentus year in the coming months on this blog.
Thanks for your flakey interest.
CK
Better they admit their admiration for one another than always picking fights with people due to insecurity, like somebody I know. Obviously you don't have that problem: 34 comments! I'm jealous, I'll admit it.
Brightdayler...
Don't be jealous, just be yourself and eat some cornflakes to toast my power.
CK
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