It's a bird! It's a grain!
No it's The Flaked Avenger!!!!
With his trusty spoon of justice and his bowl of righteousness the Flaked Avenger seeks out evil and brings hope to the world of cereals.
The Flaked Avenger was sent to Earth from the long-extinct planet Cornulon thousands of years ago by his father Maizeman and mother Flakella. Here on Earth he grew to love the people of the planet and vowed to use his secret powers to protect them from evil doers.
Using his cornflake powers, the Flaked Avenger's orb of corn even brings down the most powerful of all his enemies - Dr Oat Granola.
The Flaked Avenger's uses the power of the flake to avenge evil doers and to bring the righteousness of the cornflake to the planet.
"Wherever there is injustice, you will find me.
"Wherever cornflakes are attacked, I will go.
"Wherever gone-off milk resides, I will be.
"I AM THE FLAAAAAKED AVENGER"
Ah the Flakied Avenger is as imperfect as the rest of us - look as he adjusts his Helmet of Goodness to make it look nice.
Keep on breakfasting everybody!!!
CK
posted by Cornflake King @ 7:15 AM
41 comments
41 Comments:
Is he really a superhero? Looks a bit of a poof to me
Nah he's a superhero. I guarantee that. The world is a safer place now the Flaked Avenger is here. And he's not a poof!
Keep on breakfasting!!
CK
I argue that the Flaked Avenger is caddish and effeminate.
Mario, Rhondda
Can the Flaked Avenger actually see anything? His eyes look like they're made from flakes of corn.
Does he have any special powers, apart from being an incredible poof?
His eyes are made of corn. That's because he is from Cornulon where the basic make-up of each humanoid is cornflakes. His cornflake eyes allow him to see things humans cannot. He has super-sight thanks to the power of the cornflake.
Keep on breakfasting!!
CK
The Flake Avenger is underhand and violent.
Edmund, London.
PS: I also believe he's an unsafe driver.
The FLAKED Avenger is kind and good and does all in his power to right the wrongs in this world.
Keep on breakfasting!!
CK
i think he is sex on legs this super hero. can i have his number.
troy, west midlands.
HOW is it that such a bland and uninteresting food has been so popular, it remains the world’s most popular breakfast cereal and has done for ny on a century now.
This year in fact, the Kellogg’s Corn Flake celebrates its 100th birthday.
rom humble beginnings has grown a multi-billion pound industry, countless challenges to the corn flake crown and the honour of keeping millions of people going until lunch time.
The history of corn flakes goes back to the late 19th century, when a group of Seventh-day Adventists in the USA began to develop new food to meet the standards of their strict vegetarian diet.
The idea for corn flakes began by accident when, Dr John Harvey Kellogg and his brother, Will Keith Kellogg, left some cooked wheat to sit.
When they returned, they found that the wheat had gone stale, but being on a strict budget, they decided to continue to process it by forcing it through rollers, hoping to obtain long sheets of the dough.
To their surprise, what they got instead was flakes, which they toasted and served to their patients. The flakes of grain, served with milk, were a very popular food among the patients.
The brothers then experimented with other flakes from other grains. In 1906, Will Keith Kellogg decided to try to mass-market the new food and set up his own company, Kellogg’s.
He broke with his brother over the addition of sugar to the flakes to make their taste more acceptable to a mass audience.
What makes the corn flake such a special breakfast?
Our tastebuds are worse at waking up than we are in the morning.
Their antipathy towards am means we do not clamour to shovel bowls of curry down our necks.
Instead, we favour the flavourless. That is not to denigrate the flavour of the corn flake, because it has a taste all its own.
That taste is not overpowering, but the hint of corn makes it the ideal breakfast meal.
You can serve them with ice cold milk – fat content of your choice – warmed milk, a topping of different seasonal fruits, you can even mix any match with other cereals.
Not only that, the corn flake is good for you, packed with vitamins and nutrients vital to set you for the day.
The corn flake is the ultimate of all cereal. Without it, we would have never had the bran flake, the rice crispie and a host of modern cereals that now adorn our supermarket shelves.
All we have to do in the morning these days is grab a bowl, pour your corn flakes in, get some milk out of the fridge and Bob’s your uncle. If you want to sweeten them further just add a sprinkling of sugar or a drizzle of honey.
But it is not just the fact that the corn flake spawned the modern breakfast, which has become so necessary in our time-precious lives.
No, they are so flexible people even use them for other meals. The corn flake lends itself to savoury food as well, there are a plethora of tasty meal recipes available using corn flakes in some form or other.
Whatever else you experiment with to eat at breakfast there is always the corn flake to fall back on. It is always there for you, ready and waiting to be devoured first thing in the morning.
These are the reasons which make the corn flake the king of all cereal.
Thanks Prof Flake. Very interesting indeed.
CK
Troy - the Flaked Avenger is an elusive character, even I do not know his true identity.
I'm sorry I can't help.
CK
what about you then ck?? fancy a bit, maybe we can find the super hero together?? xxxxxxxxxx
troy, up north.
Can your superhero speak Cornflakish?
Can your superhero speak Cornflakish
Christ, you need a hobby. Or a sex life.
Hi Sion,
I think that's what the language of Cornulon is. So yes, he must do.
Keep on breakfasting!!
CK
hi CK,
I was wondering if you caould put me in touch with the flaked avenger? I've been in the sidekick game for quite a while now, although I am lacking someone to serve, so this seems like the ideal opportunity for me. I've got lots of related experience, I can work equally well as part of a team or alone and I am willing to take a pay cut to be part of this exciting team. My special powers are mastery of dried fruit and basic mind control. My weapon is a super gun.
Hope you can help sir,
Honour and Justice.
The Incredible Muesli Boy, Wigan
Good afternoon everyone!!!
I am only on here to reply to the Incredible Muesli Boy and to say to him, yes I am in need of a sidekick. If you want, you can come over to my cornflake cave (which I created from the last piece of Cornulon in the universe) to discuss terms, salary and a contract. All you have to do is fly north and you will eventually find it with your special cereal powers.
Remember everyone,
Wherever there is injustice, you will find me.
Wherever cornflakes are attacked, I will go.
Wherever gone-off milk resides, I will be.
I AM THE FLAAAAAKED AVENGER!!!!!!!
Hi CK - I was just wondering if you or the Flakey Avenger had any views on the cornflake crumbs you find at the bottom of the packet. Should these dusty bits be eaten as part of the last bowl or are they dangerous to human health? Also, where do you stand on the flakes that get trapped between the inner bag and the packet? I always worry they might get funny tasting outside the protection of the plastic bag and fear it might spoil the whole eating experience. Sometimes I get so worried I have to put on my soothing woolly chin cap and stroke it gently for half an hour before I can even THINK about breakfasting. Now it's getting threadbare. Please help me before it wears through.
Hi The Flaked,
Sorry my good friend, but I've been offered a position as temporary nemisis to a toast-based super hero in the midlands area.
Maybe you could keep my file on record?
Many thanks,
Honour and Justice
The Incredible Muesli Boy
Oh well. Didn't want a sidekick anyway. No loss to me.
Wherever there is injustice, you will find me.
Wherever cornflakes are attacked, I will go.
Wherever gone-off milk resides, I will be.
I AM THE FLAAAAAKED AVENGER!!!!!!!
Hey Flakemanpoofwhatever,
I've linked you to my site. Please reciprocate, flakemeister avec nuts. I know you can. Look at all that Internet gimmickry you've applied to your grainy site! You da flake! Flake off, for flake's sake! And disregard those granola- whole-wheat detractors, Milquetoasts, all!
Hi Big Paulie!!
Thanks for putting me as a link. Now I've been having problems with my blog, maybe there's a rogue flake in the system or something, which means I haven't been able to edit my links. But I will work on it over the next couple of days...
Keep on breakfasting!!!
CK
Dear CK
Would you please tell the Flaked Avenger to work on his outfit? It looks a bit cheap to me. If he ran it would fall into flakes of corn and then where would he be?
FYI: The Cornflake King is cited on my post entitled "Coitus Interruptus" today.
The Laughorist
If he avenges evildoers, does this mean that he actually fighting against people who have had evil done to them? In which case, is the Flaked Avenger.
In which case, DIE FLAKED AVENGER, DIE!
But if I've misunderstood all this, Keep On Flaking for the Free World!
I missed out a lot of words in that last post and it doesn't amke much sense. That's what happens when you don't have breakfast.
Pedant,
I think you meant "make" as opposed to "amke".
Looks like you need a dictionary as well as a good breakfast.
I think Dave Jones, Cardiff City manager should sign the Flaked Avenger is his alter ego Jason Koumas?
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